“Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.” – Bill Vaughn
“I made my money the old fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.” – Malcolm Forbes
“If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among themselves, there wouldn’t be enough to go around.” – Christina Stead
“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.” – Jules Renard
A letter from a college student
The parents of a Northwestern student who just headed back from holiday received this letter: Dear Mom and Dad: Univer$ity life i$ $o wonderful! Cla$$e$ and $e$$ion are intere$ting, my cla$$mate$ are the be$t! But after $pending all my ca$h on Chri$tma$ pre$ent$, I am in a little need for $ome $pending money for book$ and $uch. But I don’t want to $end the wrong $ignal$ home.
A young college co-ed came running in tears to her father. “Dad, you gave me some terrible financial advice!” “I did? What did I tell you?” said the dad. “You told me to put my money in that big bank, and now that big bank is in trouble.” “What are you talking about? That’s one of the largest banks in the state,” he said. “There must be some mistake.” “I don’t think so,” she sniffed. “They just returned one of my checks with a note saying, ‘Insufficient Funds’.”
Mother had decided to trim her household budget wherever possible, so instead of having a dress dry-cleaned she washed it by hand. Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, just think, Fred, we are five dollars richer because I washed this dress by hand. Good, my dad quickly replied. Wash it again!