Humor


fortunewatch.com

Where are you?

song chart memes
Source- Graphjam


image001


mailgooglecom1

The latest news on inflation and unemployment seem to be pointing to a gathering storm in the U.S. economy. A lot of readers are wondering: Just how bad is this downturn going to be?

Economic forecasters and weather forecasters have a few things in common. Since no one can see into the future, both kinds of forecasters look at the forces that have created and shaped storms in the past — and then look at current data to help guide their predictions. When you see a sharp drop in the barometer, it’s a pretty good bet there’s a storm coming.
READ (more…)

image002

image003

image004
Read (more…)

aig

Let’s say the U.S. government completely nationalizes AIG, so that the new entity now shares the government’s AAA rating.

Read
(more…)

President-Elect Barack Obama’s transition team is reported to be deeply divided over whether to offer a post to Monica Lewinsky, the former White House Intern whose intimate relationship with President Bill Clinton led to his impeachment.

image001

No decision has been reached as to exactly what sort of job Lewinsky might be offered.
Read (more…)

image002

Basic Management Lesson

funny_quotes_comment_01gif“If you ever see me getting beaten by the police, put down the video camera and come help me.”  –Bobcat Goldthwait

“I’ve been doing the Fonda workout: the Peter Fonda workout.  That’s
where I wake up, take a hit of acid, smoke a joint, and run to my
sister’s house and ask her for money.”  –Kevin Meaney

“My mom said she learned how to swim. Someone took her out in the lake and threw her off the boat. That’s how she learned how to swim. I said, ‘Mom, they weren’t trying to teach you how to swim.’ ” –Paula Poundstone

“In elementary school, in case of fire you have to line up quietly in a
single file line from smallest to tallest. What is the logic?  Do tall people burn slower?” –Warren Hutcherson

“I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every
other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.” –Elayne Boosler

“Ever wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?”     –John Mendoza

“Today I met with a subliminal advertising executive for just a  second.”
–Steven Wright

“Relationships are hard. It’s like a full-time job, and we should treat
it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks’ notice. There should beseverance pay, and
before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.” –Bob Ettinger
Read (more…)

ist2_322215-cash-crunchDear Employees,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement.

This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire-Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW programme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers). A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible.
Read (more…)

« Previous PageNext Page »