Lighter Side


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Dan was a single guy living at home with his widowed father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.

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One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

“I may just look an ordinary man” he said to her, “but soon my father will die and I will inherit $200 million”

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at Financial Planning than men.

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song chart memes
Source- Graphjam

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Apparently appropriate brand names for these TOP BRANDS
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There was this lady Hillybilly
Told Obama you look silly,
With your policies so dumb,
Just like your black bum,
And your small black willy.

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All Obama could do was have a big laugh and say “How silly can you get Hilly?”

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glasgow-whisky.jpgA man goes into a bar and seats himself on a stool. The bartender looks at him and says, “What’ll it be buddy?”

The man says, “Set me up with seven whiskey shots and make them doubles.” The bartender does this and watches the man slug one down, then the next, then the next, and so on until all seven are gone almost as quickly as they were served. Staring in disbelief, the bartender asks why he’s doing all this drinking.

“You’d drink them this fast too if you had what I have.”

The bartender hastily asks, “What do you have pal?”

The man quickly replies, “I have a dollar.”

*** *** ***

A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself.

Approaching the friend he comments, “You look terrible. What’s the problem?”

“My mother died in August,” he said, “and left me $25,000.”

“Gee, that’s tough,” he replied.

“Then in September,” the friend continued, “My father died, leaving me $90,000.”

“Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you’re depressed.”

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recycling-bin.jpgWise men always said that words are like arrows on a bow. Once released, they never come back but hover around in the universe. I wonder, what would you say about the written word?

Writers and writing coaches like to rail against flabby writing. But what if this verbal clutter wasn’t just getting in the way of us writing with clarity and style – what if it was also draining the vital resources of the planet?

Those innumerable blogs, sms blitz on a million mobiles, reams of emails are probably lying in the hinterland of the universe somewhere, words that we need no more.

Even when we hit the trash icon on our computer screens and feel happy to clear the trash from our computers and servers, does it go away completely? Or does it just get released in the digital world to rot and fester away for years?

The eco experts have already expressed alarm over the piling junk in space with nearly half a century of our space exploration programmes.

There is junk from spent rocket stages, hatches blown off space shuttles, paint fragments chipped of shuttles travelling at incredible speeds and old, rusted satellites, floating around us hundreds of light years away.

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flattery.jpgFlattery will get you everywhere. Giving praise is often neglected. When was the last time you took the time to call someone to thank them about a service they performed for you? Or, in this generation, emailed a nice testimonial?

It helps negotiate: Flattery is infantry on the march for negotiation. Actually it is the best, and oldest, trick in the book to bag the best deals while shopping.

It breaks the ice: Sometimes, a little flattery goes a long way in getting to know new people. Surprising how much nicer people can get when their ego is pampered.

It lifts spirits: When a friend has a bad hair day or is feeling down, a bit of flattery does the trick. Instantly,it makes him/her feel better.

The queue moves: In a supermarket on a Friday evening, a little flattery can help you jump the queue and stave off varicose veins.

Makes light of excess baggage: A minor compliment accompanied with a smile could help you save some precious dollars at the airport!

Gets help when the tyre goes flat: A damsel in distress plus a little flattery. Result? A good samaritan to help and the happy prospect of keeping freshly manicured nails in tip top condition.

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