Money And Marriage: Sit down together and plan your Budget

Work as a team in managing your finances and maintain equal voices in your partnership no matter how much money either of you earns.

It is critical for married partners to work together in maintaining the different financial dimensions of their household. This includes both partners being involved in everyday financial decisions and transactions, as well as working toward your financial future together.

One of the more interesting topics is when a couple is struggling to handle their finances like a married couple. What I usually hear is one of the spouses handles all of the finances and the other just takes orders from the one who handles the money.

What I have found in my limited experience with marriage is that a budget does not work unless both spouses are working together to plan a budget and stick to it. My suggestion is to dedicate an hour every two weeks to sitting down with your spouse to discuss the budget and go over any changes or concerns about the budget and the general household finances.

When it comes to the subject of marriage and money, it always comes down to communication. I remember hearing a wife talk about how she handles all of the finances, but her husband gets angry with her when she spends money one something he doesn’t agree with. Well, get off your lazy butt and get involved in the finances, buddy! You can’t rant and rave to your spouse about where the money is going if you won’t take the time to help plan where it should go.

Another thing to consider is putting your defensive personality in check before starting to talk about the finances and the budget. It’s so easy to get in fights when talking about your opinions about the money. I may want $50 to go towards household stuff, but she may want $100. You can’t let this kind of discrepancies turn into world war 3 or else it will put a huge strain on other areas of your life.

It’s okay to compromise on issues with the budget, because when you put your spouse’s interests above your own, then you are making healthy compromises. Remember, studies have shown that issues with money is one of the leading causes of divorces. It can make or break your marriage, so take it seriously when you two talk about what to do with your dough.

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5 Responses

  1. Shane says:

    My accountant and her husband keep their money separate. They each have separate investments and they both contribute to a common fund to pay the household expenses, etc.

    It seems to have worked pretty well for them.

  2. Robin Bal says:

    Hi Shane,

    Thats simply great if it has worked out so well for your accountant and her husband, the important thing is that they do contribute to a common fund. I am not saying this system will never work.

    However invariably if one party is handling the money there are bound to be conflicts.

    Take care and cheers.

  3. zakman says:

    I can share some hands-on experience on this post.

    Way back like I was just about two years in my first job, and had a wish-list that ran half-way up the Empire State Building.

    I’d go on to say to say the items on my wish-list were more down-to-earth, like meeting the immediate needs to live comfortbaly, but my wife (ex now) wanted some exotic furniture.

    Well I had some issues of my own (which would be off-topic here) and I took a loan and bought the expensive furniture. Things were never the same since then.

    I’d have liked to write about how I handled the situation–but I just didn’t. Absolutely no idea how to work with a partner.

    Sorry!

  4. Robin Bal says:

    Hey Zakman,

    Sorry to hear it ended up that way for you mate. As I mentioned earlier “When it comes to the subject of marriage and money, it always comes down to communication.”

    When a couple is struggling with financial issues, it bottles down to more understanding, communication and sacrifice.

    Thanks for your comment I am sure some others will benefit from the situation you went through.

    Take care and Cheers.

  5. Anna says:

    Somebody might want to mention too that sharing the expenses and budgeting doesn’t necessarily mean each party is paying the exact same amount into it, either. Budgeting has to take into consideration that one of those parties may well be making far less or far greater an income that the other party and so the budget will have to be planned accordingly so one is not losing all their income to bills.

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