Comments on: Money & Marriage: Joint Accounts or Separate Accounts? http://www.fortunewatch.com/money-marriage-joint-accounts-or-separate-accounts/ Money Is Power Sat, 28 Jan 2012 15:42:51 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Phillip http://www.fortunewatch.com/money-marriage-joint-accounts-or-separate-accounts/comment-page-1/#comment-16851 Phillip Thu, 19 Jan 2012 06:32:55 +0000 http://fortunewatch.com/?p=292#comment-16851 Bad advice. I have been married for 20 years the joint account approach did not work for us, my wife abused this by over spending although I make a good salary I ended up with $20 at the end of the week, now we are separated I find that I am able to save hundreds of dollars a week and pay 2 mortgages. Now we are trying to work it out - get back together and of cause this resentment is holding us back. Thanks for your opinion, but this approach does not work for everyone. look up cuban, american and french approaches to this Bad advice.

I have been married for 20 years the joint account approach did not work for us, my wife abused this by over spending although I make a good salary I ended up with $20 at the end of the week, now we are separated I find that I am able to save hundreds of dollars a week and pay 2 mortgages. Now we are trying to work it out – get back together and of cause this resentment is holding us back. Thanks for your opinion, but this approach does not work for everyone. look up cuban, american and french approaches to this

]]> By: Earle Schmeling http://www.fortunewatch.com/money-marriage-joint-accounts-or-separate-accounts/comment-page-1/#comment-16188 Earle Schmeling Thu, 15 Dec 2011 02:14:58 +0000 http://fortunewatch.com/?p=292#comment-16188 See more how to make money using paypal See more how to make money using paypal

]]> By: Carrie http://www.fortunewatch.com/money-marriage-joint-accounts-or-separate-accounts/comment-page-1/#comment-14858 Carrie Fri, 28 Oct 2011 15:29:37 +0000 http://fortunewatch.com/?p=292#comment-14858 Wow - after reading all these comments, I still cannot figure out what would be the right thing to do - separate accounts or joint accounts? I personally know of someone whose 20+ year marriage ended - first thing she did was try to steal all of the joint money from the bank, but the bank only allowed her to take a portion without his OK. This horrible divorce was ALL about this lazy, sloppy, dirty, stay-at-home-have more & more Kids woman getting ALL the joint money. He had no clue; did not see this coming. She moved her boyfriend into their huge beautiful house and had him "removed" by lies to the Police and Children's Services. HORRIBLE. I have been single my whole life, and have provided for myself 100%, and allowed various men to move into my apartments and my (owned) homes and live inexpensively using my furniture, pots, pans, towels, TVs, etc. and of course kept all my money (including their rent) in my own accounts. I can't imagine any man telling me I "can't" buy new towels or a new winter coat (I keep mine for many years) or a pair of shoes I think are cute and very comfortable. Or tell me I should not buy...anything. It's my money and I work darn hard for it, many hours, working 2 jobs quite often. Joint account? I tried that ONCE with one man, a very small "house" account but he started taking $20 out at the ATM all the time and I found out. I closed that account quick! So when a person gets married they HAVE to live with the fear of all the money arguments? the issues of CONTROL, feeling like a child with a Parent not allowing them to buy what they want? The FEAR that the spouse can get angry and steal all the joint money someday? The divorce rate is so high, and the risk of losing all your money is SO high if you allow another person access to your hard-earned money. I don't see how in 2011, people can work this out if they choose to get legally married. May work if you are only 20-something....but a later-in-life second or third marriage? How? Wow – after reading all these comments, I still cannot figure out what would be the right thing to do – separate accounts or joint accounts? I personally know of someone whose 20+ year marriage ended – first thing she did was try to steal all of the joint money from the bank, but the bank only allowed her to take a portion without his OK. This horrible divorce was ALL about this lazy, sloppy, dirty, stay-at-home-have more & more Kids woman getting ALL the joint money. He had no clue; did not see this coming. She moved her boyfriend into their huge beautiful house and had him “removed” by lies to the Police and Children’s Services. HORRIBLE. I have been single my whole life, and have provided for myself 100%, and allowed various men to move into my apartments and my (owned) homes and live inexpensively using my furniture, pots, pans, towels, TVs, etc. and of course kept all my money (including their rent) in my own accounts. I can’t imagine any man telling me I “can’t” buy new towels or a new winter coat (I keep mine for many years) or a pair of shoes I think are cute and very comfortable. Or tell me I should not buy…anything. It’s my money and I work darn hard for it, many hours, working 2 jobs quite often. Joint account? I tried that ONCE with one man, a very small “house” account but he started taking $20 out at the ATM all the time and I found out. I closed that account quick! So when a person gets married they HAVE to live with the fear of all the money arguments? the issues of CONTROL, feeling like a child with a Parent not allowing them to buy what they want? The FEAR that the spouse can get angry and steal all the joint money someday? The divorce rate is so high, and the risk of losing all your money is SO high if you allow another person access to your hard-earned money. I don’t see how in 2011, people can work this out if they choose to get legally married. May work if you are only 20-something….but a later-in-life second or third marriage? How?

]]> By: Anne http://www.fortunewatch.com/money-marriage-joint-accounts-or-separate-accounts/comment-page-1/#comment-14755 Anne Thu, 20 Oct 2011 21:19:03 +0000 http://fortunewatch.com/?p=292#comment-14755 My husband and I have been married 23 years and have separate accounts. For the first 10 years I stayed home and raised our three children, then went out to work, and I now can contribute to our life financially, too, paying for certain expenses we incur. If separate accounts are what both people want, then that's ok. But what do you do when there's disagreement? I have never felt like this was a good situation for us, like he doesn't trust me, and I now want us to have joint finances. He does not want to communicate about it, gets angry when I bring it up. My fear is that now that we're getting older, what will I do to look after the house, bills, etc. if something was to disable him? (I know I can't carry the whole burden on just my income.) We've seen some very scary health issues recently with people we know. I love this man and want to be his helpmate, but shutting me out is a very old-fashioned attitude. It's going to be very hard to change things in this marriage, now, with this many years of not having to talk about money with each other. My husband and I have been married 23 years and have separate accounts. For the first 10 years I stayed home and raised our three children, then went out to work, and I now can contribute to our life financially, too, paying for certain expenses we incur. If separate accounts are what both people want, then that’s ok. But what do you do when there’s disagreement? I have never felt like this was a good situation for us, like he doesn’t trust me, and I now want us to have joint finances. He does not want to communicate about it, gets angry when I bring it up. My fear is that now that we’re getting older, what will I do to look after the house, bills, etc. if something was to disable him? (I know I can’t carry the whole burden on just my income.) We’ve seen some very scary health issues recently with people we know. I love this man and want to be his helpmate, but shutting me out is a very old-fashioned attitude. It’s going to be very hard to change things in this marriage, now, with this many years of not having to talk about money with each other.

]]> By: Stuart http://www.fortunewatch.com/money-marriage-joint-accounts-or-separate-accounts/comment-page-1/#comment-14536 Stuart Sat, 08 Oct 2011 20:53:18 +0000 http://fortunewatch.com/?p=292#comment-14536 It's been joint acct for 18 years of marraige until she got on fb. all of a sudden she would hide the screen anytime i came into the room. Going out, coming home well after the "bar" closes. I work full time, she stayed at home. Very often I came home to cook dinner for 3 kids all the while she was online. I tried to ask for help cooking, rsulting in a fight. Late nights continued, then I had direct deposit into my own personal acct. she will ask for $ to transfer to joint so she can buy groceries....groceries wasnt't never her intent. So now i do the grocery shopping. So, I'm part of the "separate acct" crowd. It’s been joint acct for 18 years of marraige until she got on fb. all of a sudden she would hide the screen anytime i came into the room. Going out, coming home well after the “bar” closes. I work full time, she stayed at home. Very often I came home to cook dinner for 3 kids all the while she was online. I tried to ask for help cooking, rsulting in a fight. Late nights continued, then I had direct deposit into my own personal acct. she will ask for $ to transfer to joint so she can buy groceries….groceries wasnt’t never her intent. So now i do the grocery shopping. So, I’m part of the “separate acct” crowd.

]]> By: juanita sy http://www.fortunewatch.com/money-marriage-joint-accounts-or-separate-accounts/comment-page-1/#comment-12530 juanita sy Wed, 13 Apr 2011 03:00:20 +0000 http://fortunewatch.com/?p=292#comment-12530 a newly couple get married recently .. the woman gets higher salary,, is it appropriate to have the partners have a joint account..isn t it fair that all share the household expenses equally and keep all the other income at their own savings account.. or maybe they can have joint savings also for long and short termsa goals. Please advise. thanks a newly couple get married recently .. the woman gets higher salary,, is it appropriate to have the partners have a joint account..isn t it fair that all share the household expenses equally and keep all the other income at their own savings account.. or maybe they can have joint savings also for long and short termsa goals. Please advise. thanks

]]> By: sam http://www.fortunewatch.com/money-marriage-joint-accounts-or-separate-accounts/comment-page-1/#comment-12370 sam Fri, 21 Jan 2011 11:40:31 +0000 http://fortunewatch.com/?p=292#comment-12370 The arguments from both sides a quite sexist here. They imply that the man earns more money and that the woman is less able with money and that the woman may earn less but will probably compensate in some way. Me and my wife keep separate accounts and contribute evenly to joint expenses it means that neither of us feel like we are the minority partner in the relationship in the same way that neither one of us is more responsible four housework. I earn more money than my wife and work longer hours and as such I pay for the big one-offs like sofas and tvs. Having separate accounts is nice because having our own money means we can treat each other and it feels like a treat. We worship each other and both know that neither one of us would leave the other to deal with any financial trouble on their own but this system works for us. It's the trust which allows us to have separate accounts and not worry about it. Every marriage is different; we were living together beforehand and marriage was about commitment to each other. Our financial set up worked as it was, so we saw no need to suddenly get involved in each others finances just because of some tradition. If we have children, I would probably be the one to keep working just because I earn more and we may have to reassess how we do things Although it would probably mean splitting my salary 50-50 with her so that we still had financial independence, but for now there is no need to conform just because that's what most people do. A marriage is what you make of it, there is no 1 "right" way, everyone is different and as a result, so are all marriages. The arguments from both sides a quite sexist here. They imply that the man earns more money and that the woman is less able with money and that the woman may earn less but will probably compensate in some way. Me and my wife keep separate accounts and contribute evenly to joint expenses it means that neither of us feel like we are the minority partner in the relationship in the same way that neither one of us is more responsible four housework. I earn more money than my wife and work longer hours and as such I pay for the big one-offs like sofas and tvs. Having separate accounts is nice because having our own money means we can treat each other and it feels like a treat. We worship each other and both know that neither one of us would leave the other to deal with any financial trouble on their own but this system works for us. It’s the trust which allows us to have separate accounts and not worry about it. Every marriage is different; we were living together beforehand and marriage was about commitment to each other. Our financial set up worked as it was, so we saw no need to suddenly get involved in each others finances just because of some tradition. If we have children, I would probably be the one to keep working just because I earn more and we may have to reassess how we do things Although it would probably mean splitting my salary 50-50 with her so that we still had financial independence, but for now there is no need to conform just because that’s what most people do. A marriage is what you make of it, there is no 1 “right” way, everyone is different and as a result, so are all marriages.

]]> By: Lizabeth http://www.fortunewatch.com/money-marriage-joint-accounts-or-separate-accounts/comment-page-1/#comment-12017 Lizabeth Tue, 28 Sep 2010 18:02:44 +0000 http://fortunewatch.com/?p=292#comment-12017 I've been married for a little over 2 years. My husband has a small business and I am not working at the present time. He has 5 children and 4 that live with us. I have two children from a previous marriage. We live in 8,200 sq ft. home with addition of 9 animals. His previous wife pasted away. When I moved into his home it was as if.... they lived in trashville, the house was a wreck. It has taken a long time to get things organized, everything needed to be washed down, it hadn't been cleaned in years. His children weren't required to do anything. I do all the cleaning, cooking, shopping, gardening, planting of flowers and lots of landscaping. I have pressured washed the house, many things I feel some of the older children should of helped us, but never was a requirement from their father. I'm at a point of getting a divorce. My money is his money and his money is his money. We don't have joint accounts together. I've spent all of my house money from a sale of a house I owned. Plus every month $746.00 that goes towards the childrens needs. I've helped him with an $75,000.00 dollar debt, managed to lower the bills and he doesn't buy my children anything. Have given my older car to his child. I'm wondering when my children get bigger will they get anything the way things are going today. My name isn't on the house or the business, still in his deceased wifes name and we do not have a new will; we are not spring chickens anymore. If we get an divorce, will I get my money back? Since we have only been married for over 2 years, what will my children have to fall back on. Good jobs with a good income are hard to find today. In the past I've made good money and was able to support my children and me, but now I'm worried. If I get a divorce what would be the best out come? At one time he would give me grocery money, that has stopped as well. He will go out and buy the groceries. He doesn't pay for anything for me such as makeup,clothes or shoes or any of my debt that I had prior to our marriage, which isn't much. Two credit cards less than $1,000.00 on each. This marriage seems one sided, is this my imagination? Any comments out there? I’ve been married for a little over 2 years. My husband has a small business and I am not working at the present time. He has 5 children and 4 that live with us. I have two children from a previous marriage. We live in 8,200 sq ft. home with addition of 9 animals. His previous wife pasted away. When I moved into his home it was as if…. they lived in trashville, the house was a wreck. It has taken a long time to get things organized, everything needed to be washed down, it hadn’t been cleaned in years. His children weren’t required to do anything. I do all the cleaning, cooking, shopping, gardening, planting of flowers and lots of landscaping. I have pressured washed the house, many things I feel some of the older children should of helped us, but never was a requirement from their father. I’m at a point of getting a divorce. My money is his money and his money is his money. We don’t have joint accounts together. I’ve spent all of my house money from a sale of a house I owned. Plus every month $746.00 that goes towards the childrens needs. I’ve helped him with an $75,000.00 dollar debt, managed to lower the bills and he doesn’t buy my children anything. Have given my older car to his child. I’m wondering when my children get bigger will they get anything the way things are going today. My name isn’t on the house or the business, still in his deceased wifes name and we do not have a new will; we are not spring chickens anymore. If we get an divorce, will I get my money back? Since we have only been married for over 2 years, what will my children have to fall back on. Good jobs with a good income are hard to find today. In the past I’ve made good money and was able to support my children and me, but now I’m worried. If I get a divorce what would be the best out come? At one time he would give me grocery money, that has stopped as well. He will go out and buy the groceries. He doesn’t pay for anything for me such as makeup,clothes or shoes or any of my debt that I had prior to our marriage, which isn’t much. Two credit cards less than $1,000.00 on each. This marriage seems one sided, is this my imagination? Any comments out there?

]]> By: Michael http://www.fortunewatch.com/money-marriage-joint-accounts-or-separate-accounts/comment-page-1/#comment-11048 Michael Tue, 18 May 2010 12:03:30 +0000 http://fortunewatch.com/?p=292#comment-11048 Jeff ~ I wonder if you and your wife sleep in separate bedrooms ! I think It's really sad that you feel you're being "punished" by sharing your good fortune with your wife. Isn't she the most important person in the world to you ? I know now why the divorce rate is so high. How about you try this....You give your wife what she needs and do things for her that you wouldn't normally do and see how that works for you. The first step in making wise decisions is to see each other as best friends to be helped, not as enemies to be punished. Good luck to you Jeff, if I were you I would hold off on having kids. David ~ I think your wife has a shopping problem and maybe you need to get her help for that. I respect you for trying to save your marriage though. Jeff ~
I wonder if you and your wife sleep in separate bedrooms !
I think It’s really sad that you feel you’re being “punished” by sharing your good fortune with your wife. Isn’t she the most important person in the world to you ? I know now why the divorce rate is so high. How about you try this….You give your wife what she needs and do things for her that you wouldn’t normally do and see how that works for you. The first step in making wise decisions is to see each other as best friends to be helped, not as enemies to be punished. Good luck to you Jeff, if I were you I would hold off on having kids.

David ~
I think your wife has a shopping problem and maybe you need to get her help for that. I respect you for trying to save your marriage though.

]]> By: Em http://www.fortunewatch.com/money-marriage-joint-accounts-or-separate-accounts/comment-page-1/#comment-11019 Em Thu, 13 May 2010 01:05:52 +0000 http://fortunewatch.com/?p=292#comment-11019 Gee, these comments got ugly fast. Gee, these comments got ugly fast.

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