A woman proudly told her friend, “I’m responsible for making my husband a millionaire.” “Well what was he before he married you?” the friend asked. “A billionaire.”
A dollar per point
A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying “A dollar per point.” The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.
A man being mugged by two thugs put up a tremendous fight! Finally, the thugs subdued him and took his wallet. Upon finding only two dollars in the wallet, the surprised thug said “Why did you put up such a fight?” To which the man promptly replied “I was afraid that you would find the $200 hidden in my shoe!”
“When people ask me if I have any spare change, I tell them I have it at home in my spare wallet.” – Nick Arnette.
“Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward” – George Carlin.
“There were times my pants were so thin I could sit on a dime and tell if it was heads or tails.” – Spencer Tracy.
“Any man who has $10,000 left when he dies is a failure.” – Errol Flynn.
“It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.” – Ken Hubbard.