Fortune Watch

Dan was a single guy living at home with his widowed father and working in the family business.

When he found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided to find a wife with whom to share his fortune.

One evening at an investment meeting he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away.

“I may just look an ordinary man” he said to her, “but soon my father will die and I will inherit $200 million”

Impressed, the woman asked for his business card and three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much better at Financial Planning than men.

“October is one of the particularly dangerous months to invest in stocks. Other dangerous months are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.” Mark Twain

Image Courtsey
“You should always live within your income, even if you have to borrow to do so.” J Billings.

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.” – Jackie Mason

“The financial markets generally are unpredictable. So that one has to have different scenarios.. The idea that you can actually predict what’s going to happen contradicts my way of looking at the market.” – GeorgeSoros.

“When buying shares, ask yourself, would you buy the whole company?” – Rene Rivki.

“I made my money the old fashioned way. I was very nice to a wealthy relative right before he died.” – Malcolm Forbes

“I‘m so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain: ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood”. – Brooke Shields

“There’s no reason to be the richest man in the cemetery. You can’t do any business from there”. – Colonel Sanders

A man explained inflation to his wife thus: “When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you’re 42-42-42. There’s more of you, but you are not worth as much.” – Lord Barnett.

Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work. – Robert Orben.

Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination. – Oscar Wilde

Weekend Humor

Is there a similarity?